Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My Second Interview Ever.

Willie Nelson was slated to play a show at The Carpenter Center her in Richmond on May 11 1999, and somehow thanks to Jeyon Falsini and Pete Humes from PUNCHLINE MAGAZINE, I got to interview him.
Now I am not the ideal person to handle such a daunting task. My 1997 interview of ROBERT PLANT consisted nothing more than learning that he was getting his long golden locks highlighted at Haircut 100 Salon in Virginia Beach, and pretending I was going there to buy haircare products. (?) I was drunk out of me gourd that afternoon as I confronted him about ripping off blues musicians (he was unapologetic), and needling him about what he was listening to (Smashing Pumpkins and Pearl Jam's YIELD) All while he was nervously cornered in the barber's chair dressed in a bib and sporting aluminum foil wrapped in his mane. What a fiasco.
Willie was no different. The first thing I did was get wasted and brag to my buddies that Willie was going to call me, not the other way around. I went to Radio Shack and bought a bugging device, and then went home to wait (and drink some more.) The next morning consisted of me laying by the telephone fielding numerous phone calls from all of those friends I bragged to proclaiming they were Willie Nelson. (Real Funny Guys) I passed out again, when he finally called.
It was 20 minutes of Sheer Hell and Awkward Silences. I shuffled papers nervously, and chain smoked into the telephone, while he calmly fielded my questions while also blowing smoke into the phone. The interview was somewhat saved by his thoughts on Django Reinhardt, and he invited me and two friends to the show with a Meeting afterwards on his bus. I decided to bring along Rob Widdecombe and Hollycaust, my two best pals at the time.
The day of the show I had to work, and I accidently slammed my nose into the refrigerator and bled profusely (don't ask.) Later that night we snapped a photo with The Man himself as we hung out in The Honeysuckle Rose 3. I don't have the picture to share in all it's scabby glory, but I think it might be filed away somewhere in Punchline's archives...

My Interview With Willie- MP4 from May 1999 for PUNCHLINE

A Song For Eppy.

It was 41 years ago today that Beatle manager Brian Epstein, 32, was found dead in his London home after an overdose of Carbitrals mixed with alcohol. The Beatles were in Bangor meeting with The Maharishi at a Transcendental Meditation seminar. Brian was The True FIFTH BEATLE, and was instrumental in The Fab Four's success. He did everything from dress them up in their suits, handle the money, book the shows, and he even drove the tour van in their early days.

Brian's life seemed to spiral out of control once The Beatles took control of theirs. A 1966 world tour was deemed a royal pain in the arse after enduring poor sound, record burning Pentecostals, KKK threats, and a mop-top raising trip to The Phillippenes where they barely made it out alive after inadvertantly snubbing Imelda Marcos. they effectively retired to studio recordings, leaving Epstein with little to do. He entered rehab several times due to an addiction to drugs, drink and gambling. The Beatles never really recovered from their managers death, with internal affairs slowly dissolving into a litany of lawsuits, failed business ventures, and mismanagement.

Yeah, I know BABY YOU'RE A RICH MAN would have been more appropriate (Lennon's "rich fat jew" jab at the fade out) but I decided to let you sample this tune recorded around the same time. This is the short version found on the 1980's compilation RARITIES, and later found on PAST MASTERS VOL. 2. The song is basically three different songs pasted together, and features another Brian (Jones of The Rolling Stones) jamming with only John and Paul. Can You Hear the Belch at the end?

Monday, August 25, 2008


America is divided, and over what this time, you ask? Is it how we Blacktopped Iraq? Is it over Abortion? Is it over the drilling of Miley Cyrus' Public Wetlands? Are you one of the twelve or so folks out there that believe that George W. Douchebag is doing a satisfactory job? Well join the world as all eyes turn from Bejing to Denver, Colorado for the 2008 Democratic Convention, where the real topic will not be about Change, but about whether or not Obama supporters clash with what has become known as THE PUMAS.
THE PUMAS (Party Unity My Ass or Peoples Unity Means Action if you are P.C.) are a renegade gaggle of Hillary Clinton supporters that are still fighting, bitching and moaning much like those fabled Japanese Soldiers that were stranded in the South Pacific after WW2. 30 percent of Clinton supporters are still uncommitted to party unity, and one has to wonder if The Clintons themselves are in it 100 percent. Bill is still sore at Obama for his constructive criticism of his 90's policies, and Hillary is obviously disturbed that she wasn't seriously considered as a running mate. It's sure to be another knock-down, drag out Battle of Embarrassment (Like 1968) that will ultimately ensure another eight years of Perpetual War For Perpetual Pieces. Way to go, jackasses.


Friday, August 22, 2008


Let's start off by saying METALLICA has had a shitty decade so far, so in the Name of All That Is Humane, cut them some slack. If I only had a video camera and a long black wig, I would post a response to all of the grief with a sobbing hysterical rant, screaming "LEAVE METALLICA ALONE!!!" similar to that jacked-out of his gourd goofball who came to Britney Spear's defense when she hit the skids earlier this year.
C'mon and admit it folks. Metallica were responsible for a great thing in the 1980's, and it wasn't only the fact that they pretty much invented a new genre of music. They were the band that united the masses. Everyone from Stoner Mulletheads dressed in their Canadian Tuxedos to Pencil Necked Punkerdweebs with Pink Hair could agree on this band; and everyone raised their fists in unison to the 80's equivalent of the Rosetta Stone- MASTER OF PUPPETS.
1988's ...AND JUSTICE FOR ALL... was a guitar drums masterpiece, that despite the gateage, sounded like it could have been recorded in any ol' garage (even though it's not nearly as gnarly as early Voivod). They were set to hit the Metal Stratosphere with their next record, and we all knew it.
You also gotta give them credit for pretty much being the only metal band that weren't wiped from the map by the Grungers, (Guns and Fucking Roses don't count, because they were playing Elton John songs by that point...) and hey, since when does getting your hair cut mean that you deserve to get your head-banging ghetto pass revoked? Who gave you Little Sammy Satanworshippers the authority to determine THE METAL CODE OF ETHICS?
And who says Lars was out of line by threatening to sue his fans after the NAPSTER CONTROVERSY? I mean, didn't you see the scene in SOME KIND OF MONSTER where he was reduced to auction off his paintings? Clearly the guy was starving to death, and it was all the fault of you sniveling little pukes who got a little trigger-happy with that download button. Rehab and shrinks are expensive, for Econochrist's sake.
Which brings us to present day, and the news that the S.F. based conglomerate are releasing a new album call DEATH MAGNETIC, and judging from the just-released single; THE DAY THAT NEVER COMES, it is the return from a long hot trip to Hell. Gone are the piccolo snare pings that made ST. ANGER such a frustrating listen, and thank the Ghost of Yngwe Fucking Malmsteen (What, he's still alive? Go Figure.) that the guitar solos are back with a vengeance. The song starts of in true Metallica ballad form, with James Hetfield sounding crystal clear and better than ever on vocals. (Note to singers everywhere; too much Jagermiester can shread the vocal chords...) Five minutes into the song the roof gets pulled away revealing a chopped-riff crescendo (similar to ONE) that effectively builds a boot shop in my rear-end, and the closing snare roll is indicative that Lars still can pull it off when he wants. Shit, there's even the long-missed beauty of a James/Kirk Hammett harmonizing guitar solo. Not Too Shabby, fellas, I just hope the rumors aren't true about THE UNFORGIVEN III...


Monday, August 18, 2008



PANDORA RADIO attracts more than one million listeners a day, and each passing day there are 40,000 new ears tuning in. It is currently the seventh most popular i-phone application, and is projected to make a cool 25 million bucks, even though they only make their cash based mainly on web advertisements. Not Too Shabby. But these guys are on the verge of going belly up due to a federal panel passing a resolution last year that forces Internet Radio to pay DOUBLE the royalty rate for each song played to record companies and artist/songwriters. That's an armpit hair under three cents per hour per listener. Unless they hit a winning scratch-ticket, or hit dead nuts on a Powerball Drawing; it is unlikely they will survive.
Why is Pandora so cool to internet users? Well, for instance let's say you want to get into some Reggae Music, but you don't know the difference between Bob Marley and Bob Geldof. You type in the name of an artist, and the databanks take care of the rest. The central braintrust will not only play cuts from The Patron Saint OF Frat Boys Everywhere, but other more diverse and perhaps more obscure artists, and plus you have the option of buying the song or album off the artist.
But since the record companies and artists are already losing money thanks to Joe Twelvepack downloading songs by means of Napster, Kazaa, Lime Wire and Elbows Music Aggregator, this new and fascinating medium will soon go the way of the 8 track tape machine. Lars Ulrich must be rolling over in his empty pile of champaigne bottles, because Hell; Bono can't even afford a decent pair of headphones. (See THE SWEETEST LEAK)

THOMAS DOLBY- AIRWAVES from The Golden Age Of Wireless


Today brings the release of EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS WILL HAPPEN TODAY; the highly anticipated reunion of David Byrne and Brian Eno after nearly thirty years. Their 1981 album MY LIFE IN THE BUSH OF GHOSTS was masterful in it's analog recording of samples, and was groundbreaking, innovative and way ahead of it's time. You can score the MP3 of their single STRANGE OVERTONES by going to their site and giving them your information. The whole album will be available August 18 on this website as well. The new single is already one of my top choices for song of the year, and is a classic for sure. Videos are coming, and there's even talk of a David Byrne tour, with dates including material from the Talking Heads as well as the Bush Of Ghosts record.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


OOPS, Bono did it again. Apparently the U2 vocalist was playing songs from their upcoming album NO LINES ON THE HORIZON at such a blaring volume that a passerby picked it up, and promptly put four of the tracks on YouTube. One can imagine him running around his French Villa in his crusty silk underwear singing along to himself in the mirror. The title track, "SEXY BOOTS", "FOR YOUR LOVE" and "MOMENT OF SURRENDER" are rumored to be merely video camera quality and obviously poor sounding. These leaks have been taken down by U2's manager Paul McGuinness, and the violator has been taken to a remote field in rural France and executed Mafia-style.
This isn't the first time Bono has boneheadedly screwed things up for the band. During the recording of the band's 2nd album OCTOBER he lost his lyric book, and had to rewrite all of the songs for a record that was widely regarded as a disappointment.
Later on in their career, his laptop with masters from HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB were stolen during a plane ride prompting leaks, damage control and postponements.
The band have recently reissued their first three albums BOY, OCTOBER and WAR (with bonus tracks) which have sold poorly, and plan to rerelease their famous performance at Red Rocks on DVD and CD on September 30th. NO LINES ON THE HORIZON; the newest tablets to come down from Mount Sinai, is due to drop in November, and will once again be produced by Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno.

LEMON MP3 this song comes from ZOOROPA. The Brian Eno influence is huge on this cut, and it is clearly Ol' Chromedome Himself singing the refrain. Great tune.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


This is an unfinished mix of the latest addition to our double album called SPACE BAR. We hope to get some banjo plastered on a couple of passages, but who knows.
WISH I COULD SWIM- MP3 by DOSED 2008 cashcropmusic Ltd.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Chris Bopst- Bass
Jim Thomson- Drums
Greg Ottinger- Guitar
Eric Ungar- Sax and Flute
Something very strange happened to the legendary SST RECORDS near the mid-point of the 1980's, and it all started when BLACK FLAG guitarist and label owner and founder GREG GINN started smoking weed. Most die-hard hardcore punk fans cried foul (HENRY ROLLINS included) when their songs became longer and more stoner friendly, (see THE PROCESS OF WEEDING OUT) and it didn't stop there... He seemed to develop a fascination with our little town and it's developing scene when he began signing instrumental bands like SACCHARINE TRUST, ALWAYS AUGUST, UNIVERSAL CONGRESS OF, HOTEL X, and yes, my personal fave ALTER-NATIVES.
Hard to believe that these guys consisted of former members of GWAR, (long before the shock-rockers recorded HELL-O on Kramer's Shimmy Disc label in the late 80's) and they quickly helped bridge the gap between hardcore and jazz along with other SST alumni such as BAZOOKA. I devoured their first two releases on the label in my high school years;HOLD YOUR TONGUE (1986) and GROUP THERAPY (1988), both featuring horn-meister Eric Unger who sounded like Coltrane in a food processer. Perfect caffiene music.
Eric was featured on only PUDGY; the first track of their last release BUZZ (1990), which slowed things down a bit and was a little bit spaced out in its sound. The bass, guitar, drums dynamic greatly influenced the scene around here, and soon everyone had a three-piece instrumental band. Myself included. For a while here in Richmond it seemed it was kinda hard to get a gig if you were a singer.
The Natives put a song called BOOKER on a local compilation called NEW DOMINION; taken from sessions that were set to be their fourth album which was never released. I scored a copy of the sessions in the early 1990's, but by then Bopst, Thomson and Ottinger had gone on to other projects.

Both taken from their utterly mind-melting untitled and unreleased last album!!! Thanks Greg!!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

ISSAC HAYES 1942-2008

Issac Hayes was found dead at 2 a.m. this morning, laying beside a treadmill at his home in Memphis, Tennessee. Not only did he provide the voice of CHEF on The South Park TV show, but he was a songwriter, singer, composer, conductor, actor, producer, humanitarian, narrator and even Honorary King of a Ghanan Provence!!!
I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP MP3 by Wu-tang Clan featuring Issac Hayes